Last Night I Gave Myself A Phone Call by Zibusiso Mpofu

Last night I gave myself a phone call

I wanted to purge myself

Hear my own voice lulling me to sleep

Telling me to keep faith and hang my tears to dry

‘’They called me a fag again today’’ I heard myself say

My voice hoarse, packed with weariness

‘’They said I’m an idiot for always being on my own’’,

My voice breaking now, giving way to a well of tears again

‘’Every day I sit in these spaces and hear the same music over and over again

I know I’m a fool for letting this get to me.

But every time when the drums bang and the cymbals clap

I simply curve into a ball,’’ said myself

 

‘’I wish I was there to carry you away’’ I replied

‘’I wish I could be there to show you the faith of your own heart

To bear the burdens and unload your shoulders

Don’t. Don’t fall apart now little one,

Let the sky keep you long enough to deflate the pain you feel

Never despise yourself, there is only yourself to run to

Don’t give yourself up, the road is long and winding

Stand up tall, for yourself and the members of you

And even if it’s heartbreaking

Don’t give into the darkness’’

‘’But It’s hard, you don’t understand,’’ myself said

‘’Yes I do’’ I said

‘’I am the glory of yourself’’

Last night I gave myself a phone call

I wanted to purge myself, yield these emotions to the sun

Cut those strings to take away the pain

And lay myself open to the rain

To be cleansed, felt and renewed

I released myself into the makings of me.

[Photograph of telephone booth is taken from scribol.com]

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