Men, men, men!

Our first class discussion for one of my modules was to discuss whether or not women need men in their lives.

The actual quote that we were meant to analyse stated the following: A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.”

Imagine a fish peddling for dear life on a bike! In effect, what this quote really means is that we women do not need men at all in our lives.

Now, I am one of those loud and strong advocates for women’s rights BUT I will NEVER EVER believe that men are unnecessary in my life.

Divine inception: the fusion of woman and man

First and foremost, without a man I would not exist. It is the science of life that sperm + egg = zygote, which becomes foetus and finally baby. And the sperm has to come from a man, regardless of whether he is a chauvinist, patriarch or traditionalist. It’s just that simple!

Secondly, as a child, one needs the advice and guidance of a male figure. I did not grow up with my father but I can reflect back on the role that my uncles and other male relatives played in giving me practical advice of how to go about doing things. One always needs a balance between the worldviews suggested by their male and female role models as the differences between them tend to open up perspective.

Thirdly, in my adulthood I do need men. One learns a lot about the inner psyche of males by talking to them, asking them questions, relating to them. There’s no point in a bunch of women huddling up together and saying, “Men are like this” or “Men are like that”. Let’s talk to each other and not about each other!

Also, as a heterosexual woman, I do need men because somewhere among them all is my life partner! How will I find him if I do not interact?!

Our world abounds with may social ills – rape, domestic violence, oppression and so many others. If we put the blame on men, we don’t actually solve anything. Rather than blame all men as though they ALL indulge in such activities, let’s talk to each other so we can find out where the problem is and why someone would feel like they have entitlement to a woman’s body at any time they so wish.

I believe in men, though it’s sometimes hard to. I thank God for them. They complement me, balance me, make me laugh, make me angry, make me woman.

This one is for the men! Viva!

13 thoughts on “Men, men, men!

  1. I know that quote quite well. In fact I wrote a whole article around the sentiments expressed in that quote. It was a statement made by Gloria Steinem and the lady went on to get married in the twilight years of her life – many women felt betrayed because they had followed her radical feminist inclinations and then to have her go and get married seemed to negate the very doctrines she spent her life advocating. She married a younger man and insisted on vows that called her a “partner” not a wife…lol!!! Saying she wanted to get married on her “own” terms….lolest! Anyway men are wonderful in bed and I wouldn’t trade their necessity in coitus for anything in the world!!
    Thus being said, I still enjoy reading Gloria’s thoughts, though I am not agree with some of them (including the one you quoted) I find her take on things to be in line with my brand of interrogation.
    Thanks for sharing this love!

  2. It’s funny how we hold opinions but when it comes time to voice them a lot of us cannot structure our simplest opinions into intelligent discourse. Why do i need men in my life? Science tells me being in their presence shortens my menstruation cycle. lol.
    I’m sure I think of a few more reasons in time. In the mean time I’ll commen you on yet another thought provoking piece Fungai.

  3. I will support anyone the defends women’s rights, but I never involve myself in discussions about whether or not women need men in their lives (or vice versa for that matter), because I think it is pointless. Whether you follow Darwin’s theory of evolution or creation by God, there is a reason we are male and female. Every woman that has ever walked the face of this earth has had the positive involvement of a male figure in her life at some point in time.

    In her conception, birth, education, up-bringing, entertainment, work, health, spiritual growth or whatever else. At some point, there was a Grand father, father, brother, uncle, cousin, friend, teacher, doctor, pastor, work colleague or business partner, lawyer, protector/guard etc that was a positive influence in your life. I realise some of these latter roles are unisex, but you were likely glad that on that particular occasion when you need their help, it was a man in that role.

  4. Love this post. Yes, I agree completely. Women need men and men need women as much as we sometimes may not like to admit it. Women and men are like two halves of a whole. Each functioning on completely different levels alone and capable of doing things that the other is not. And when they come together they make a perfect whole. Not just in terms of sex, but in life as well. Decisions that are made by men and women are approached in different ways. I’m not saying that one is better than the other its just the way each of our minds work, but when put together we work as a much more effective team. Men and women together in matrimony are the beginning of family as well. You know what’s funny about Gloria Steinem, although she’s the one who stated that women without men are like fish without a bicycle, but somehow intrinsically she felt the need for one for she wound up marrying one, regardless of the vows she said, she took vows. At some level, whether she could admit it to others or even herself she felt the natural urge to become whole with a man through marriage. Knowing that at some level it forged an unbreakable bond with that man, a bond that she wanted and had a need for in her life.

    And all women who function on the thought that they don’t need a man, but just for sex are settling for less. Believe more. Want for more. Dare to dream for more again. And in the beginning and the end put it all in God’s hands, he hears all prayers, knows all dreams, and will fill them for you in His time.

    Be still and know that I am God – Psalm 46:10

  5. At the most basic/biological level for reproduction, we need men physiologically to do the tougher work and socially/sociologically to complement each other. So yeh we can not do without them. Of course women can exist without men but they need men to complete the picture.

  6. This is a very interesting debate! Women do definitely need men. I think it’s just human nature! And while men have been labelled dogs, players, fools, idiots and even bastards, most women still daydream about finding ‘the one’. A man who isn’t any of the above but someone who is different. Someone loving, caring and faithful. I think as women we actually do give men the benefit of the doubt! Us women love to tell our girlfriends all about our new guy – how wonderful and special he is. How he wouldn’t dare look at another woman. But when he turns out to be anything but, it is a devastating blow because we really thought he was different. Despite women having disappointments in relationships, they continue to pursue new ones in hopes of finding their soulmate.
    Women need men in order to experience intimacy as well. I don’t think I need to explain certain urges women may have which may only be satisfied by a man lol! Intimacy doesn’t even necessarily have to be sex. It can be cuddling, touching or just kissing. Therefore although men have an incredibly bad reputation, women still find themselves needing them. Like I said it’s just human nature.

  7. Intrsting piece here Fungai bt hw cum it seems as if u r shying away frm e real issue. Yes we nd men 4 procreation bt what abt sex itself. I 4 1 nd men 4 e pure pleasure. If a baby is conceived in e process thn tht’s a plus!!! Killing 2 birds with 1 stone. Apart frm those 2 things I cnt thnk o n mo reasons y I wld need thm. Ok maybe 1 or 2 mo. Vibrators cnt mow e loan nw cn they?????

  8. Greeting from Anne
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  9. I think you didn’t get it, what the quote means is that you can choose: Without a man you wont die.

    It is about independence, not about Darwin, not about sperm, is about women been independent beings who do not necesarily will form a family.

    It is a Metaphor!

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